Avoiding the Present Experience

It is fairly common to avoid what we experience, specifically if we don’t like what the experience brings with it. Often, dare I say always, it is the emotional component that is disliked, unaccepted or denied.

I don’t like anger

I am aware of this right now. Today marks what would have been my mother’s 70th birthday, if she had not chosen to end her life prematurely in January this year. Today is a heavy day for me and I struggle with the mixture of anger at her decision to leave, her not being physically present and celebrating with her and her one year old grandchild, the feeling of missing her and on the other side the desire for me to be compassionate, accepting and seeing the positive in everything. Right now, the anger is much more prevalent and in my head I hear the screaming voice saying: ‘What the hell is there positive in this???’

I just want to feel better

I’m reminded of one of my client’s session this week where my client said: ‘I want to feel better, I don’t like feeling the way I’m feeling and it doesn’t make sense anyway.’

As a starting point, the desire to change isn’t wrong. It might just be premature to want to change from anger to joy in one step. There is a good reason for the emotion in the moment, whether we like it or not. There must be, otherwise why were we as a human emotional being constructed this way? Beside the obvious, the release of the various emotional responses help us deal with what is and release tension. Tears help you heal. So do the emotions that are present, with or without tears.

Charge versus memory

If you look back along the timeline of your life you will notice that there are memories that have little or no emotional charge. These are the events that you have dealt with and emotionally released. No matter how far back in time, those which still hold some negative emotional charge have not been fully released. These are the topics for therapy or self-awareness and processing.

Present situation, past charge

Often we are reminded of past charges when something happens in present daily life that is somehow connected. This does not have to be logically understandable. All that matters is your awareness of the past memories coming up and relating to the present situation. This is your invitation for release and allowing.

I feel so bad

The other end of the scale from avoiding the emotional experience is prolonging it. If you enjoy ‘feeling bad’ or have some secondary gain attached to drama, then you’re living the other extreme. It’s not better than avoidance; it’s just another strategy to get what it is that seems more desirable. In the case of a drama queen it might well be what others avoid.

What to do in the present moment?

Coming back to my present situation of the emotional components of my mother’s 70th birthday – what shall I do? I don’t like the anger as it alienates people, I’m short tempered and impatient with my daughter and husband. These are behavioural projections of the anger, whereas I’m reminding myself to stay with it, without needing to express it beyond informing my husband: ‘I’m angry today and if I might project please don’t take it personally.’ His response, knowing of the effect of the date: ‘It is totally understandable that you’re angry’.

There again, I’m reminding myself that acceptance of what is, is paramount. Not just from others, but from myself first and foremost.

Bookmark Printing Presents a Great Opportunity to Cash in Your Business Activity

Bookmark printing presents a great scope to achieve the attention of travelers during holiday trips. Several of the tourists move around and carry books to read during journeys and every book has a bookmark in it. Customer influx is automatic if we produce attractive and colorful bookmarks. Most of the bookmarks carry names of hotels and holiday resorts or travel agencies, which get noticed by vacationers. If you are in same kind of business, it is wise to invest in bookmarks printing to get your business well advertised.

You can also use this bookmark as a discount voucher for your hotel or curio shop or any other kind of store, which tourist generally need during the holiday trips. If the bookmark contains a special bargain offer on garments or hats or sunglasses or photography equipment that is available at your store, you can expect a brisk sale during the holiday season. Many travel agencies offer discounts in fares for the site seeing trips and make good profit in this time of the year.

The discount voucher part may be torn out during the purchase of an article, but the remaining part of the bookmark still supports the publicity of your business. You get a continued advertising effect of your brand when you choose the option of bookmark printing.

We should always use this wonderful tool to be in the business and get maximum output in profit value with negligible investment. The holiday season presents a great opportunity to cash in the business activity of several kinds.

Insist on colorful and attractive bookmarks printing and add a commercial value to it to make the best use of this tiny tool of advertising. You are sure to gain business profit from the presence of touring public.

Addictions and Personality Disorders – 9 Signs That it is More Than Just Addiction Present

Addictions are a difficult burden to bear, for the afflicted individual as well as loved ones of the addict. For the partner of an alcoholic or other type of addict, there may be a great deal of confusion over why their partner is doing what he or she is doing. Certainly, there may be many contributing factors to addiction. One factor that could be present is the presence of an underlying personality disorder, like narcissism or sociopath/psychopathy, that is driving the addict to use substances compulsively.

Keeping in mind that some of the signs of these disorders can look like more typical behavior of addicts, and that a personality disorder can only be diagnosed by a qualified mental health provider, here are 9 signs that there could be more than simply an addiction present:

1. There is a lack of guilt or remorse as a true emotional response. In other words, your partner may lack conscience.

2. There is a lack of empathy and ability to place him or herself in the shoes of anyone else. This can lead to selfish and callous behavior.

3. Your partner consistently displays irresponsibility, being unlikely to hold down a steady job or pay bills on time, or honor marital commitments.

4. Your partner tends to get bored and engage in risky behaviors without regard for the safety of self or others.

5. Your partner tends to manipulate, con, and lie his or her way to achieving a personal agenda. Some individuals lead a parasitic life, sponging off others and exploiting them for what they can get.

6. Your partner may exhibit a sense of superiority and grandiose sense worth, feeling entitled to preferential treatment, expecting to associate with special people or institutions, and showing a haughty attitude toward others.

7. There may be a lack of impulse control. Your partner may be driven to use drugs and alcohol, or engage in sex, compulsively.

8. Your partner may think in ideals of love, power, and beauty. You may be idealized and raised up on a pedestal, then devalued and treated as worthless, with little in between.

9. Your partner may ignore social norms and have a tendency toward criminal behavior, including violence.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?